Parenting at home, the Montessori way

At school, we teach practical life skills, such as cleaning and preparing food, that children can use in the classroom, at home, and beyond. Those skills don't belong to the classroom. A child who learns to pour at school can pour at your table, given a small jug and a little patience.

Understanding your child's stage of development helps at home, too. A two-year-old's insistence on doing it alone, or a seven-year-old's fixation on fairness, makes more sense once you know what that age is reaching for. Our Child Development articles describe each stage.

A young child's urge to do things alone is a stage worth supporting. The practical version is simple, though not always easy. Give more time than the task seems to need. Show the steps slowly, with few words, and then step back. Children between three and six are methodical. They enjoy a task with many steps done in the same order, so a slow demonstration gives them exactly what they like. Let the result be imperfect, and resist fixing it while they watch.

What a child gets from this is bigger than the task. Doing real things for themselves gives children a sense of empowerment. You can see it on a child's face when the last button finally goes through the hole.

Our classrooms are built around low shelves and natural materials, with everything placed where a child can reach it. At home, the same idea fits into one corner. Put the few things your child uses every day within their reach. Think of a hook for their coat, a low shelf with two or three things to do, and a cup they can fill themselves.

Give each thing one place, so tidying up is something they can manage without you. Order helps for another reason, too. Young children have a strong sense of where things belong, and a home where each thing has a place is one they can find their way around. You don't need to change the whole house. One low hook by the door is a good place to start.

The right job depends on the age. In our Toddler room, children learn to dress, wash their hands, and keep themselves clean, and toilet training happens there too. At home, those are the jobs to hand over slowly, one step at a time.

In Primary, children help prepare food and clean up after themselves. At home, that might mean washing vegetables, setting their own place, or wiping the table after dinner. Looking after a shared space counts as well. In our classrooms it is called care of the environment, and it is part of every child's work. At home, it can be watering a plant, feeding a pet, or sweeping up after a snack.

By Elementary, children begin to manage their own time. A child who sets the course of their own day at school can help plan a Saturday, or work out how long a project will take.

In our classrooms, children choose within thoughtful limits. At home, that usually means offering a choice between two good options. The blue cup or the green one. Bath before the story or after it. Both answers are fine with you, and the child gets a real decision.

Keep the limits few and clear, and keep them the same from one day to the next. A child who knows where the edges are can relax inside them. Our six principles explain how choice and limits work together in the classroom.

At school, children practice grace and courtesy with one another: greeting, waiting, asking, and thanking. At home, a child learns those habits mostly by watching you. Saying please and thank you to your child, and waiting for their answer when you ask a question, teaches more than a reminder does.

Listening matters as much as manners. Our classrooms make sure children know their voices are heard. At home, that can be as small as putting your phone down and turning toward them when they start a story.

Home and school work best when they talk to each other. We set aside time for parents and guides to discuss each child's growth and needs. If something is working at home, or not working, tell your child's guide. The guides for each age are introduced on the program pages: Infant, Toddler, Primary, and Elementary.

There is more to try than one page can hold. New articles for home go out with our newsletter, just below.